"Come on Mustard lady, give Josie a chance."
"I'm sorry Hollis, but Josie is too forgetful." said the Mustard Woman. "I'm coming by tommorow to take you back."
"No you can't take me and anyway at least Josie knows who I am and where she lives!" Hollis then began to say "I like living here with Josie and you can't just take me away!"
"I'm so sorry Hollis but it's not me, it's the agency." The Mustard Woman said.
Hollis was irratable at this point and said "I'm done here" and proceeded to walk away.
I like how yours is small with some detail. I also really liked how you used a vocab word in the sentence.
I liked how Hollis said that at least Josie knew where she lived and who Hollis was.
"Josie?" asked Hollis."Can you stop whittling for a second.I have a question"
"Okay."Josie said "What"?
"I was wondering about my real mom.Do you know anything"?
"Hollis," Josie said quitley"All I know is that she dropped you off in Holliswoods with a note that said Call her Hollis woods".
"Oh. Do you have the note?" asked Hollis
"No.But Emmy does!' anwsered Josie exidedly.
The Next Day
"Hi Emmy!" said Hollis "Josie says you have the note from my mother. Can I see it"?
"Oh Hollis!" said Emmy "I don't have it. I told Josie I don't have it. She must have not heard me right".
"Oh" said Hollis she was full of astonishment.
"You should go home honey. Bye!"
"Bye." Hollis was in tears.
When she got home Holis told Josie what had happened.
"I'm so sorry" said Josie
"I'm going to my room. Bye" whispered Hollis.
I like how you used vocabulary words in your diolouge and I also loved the plot.
I like how you included what happened after Hollis went to talk to Emmy.
Great inference, Allison. I like how you said that Josie might have the note from her parents. I think that is a great idea.
"Ok, what should be our plan?" Hollis said.
"I think we should pack up our things,and put it in the trunk." Josie said.
"Ok, but what should we put?"
"Our Christmas tree, the Santa ornament, Henry's stuff, clothes, food, pillows, blankets, and other things."
"Ok, but we do need to get everything done before the mustard woman comes to get me."
"I'll get the Christmas tree, the ornaments, pillows, and blankets."
"Ok,and I'll get the food, clothes, and Henry's stuff".
"Do you have everything now?"
"Yes, and do you have everything?"
"I also have some extra money that we can use."
"I found a map that I think we can use."
"Ok,let's go now."
"Are you ready?"
I like how you went forward in the story but why do they need the christmas tree in the trunk.
"Hello,is this Emmy of the agency." Says the school secretary.
"Yes, Is there something wrong." Says Emmy.
"Yes there is, you know that girl Hollis Woods. Says the Secretary
"Yes we just put her in a house with a laddie named Josie Cahill." Replies Emmy.
"Well she has not been showing up to school lately, and I keep getting letters that she has been sick or something happened and she has to go so where. Says the secretary. Do you know if any of this is true?
"Well if she mentioned anything about relatives then you know it's not true. But she could be sick that is possible."
" But I thought it was kind of strange when she did not show up for a week of school, she was sending in notices almost every day."
" Okay Mrs. Secretary we will send someone down there to get Hollis Woods to show up to school. Have a great day!"
I liked how you used the school secretary and I like the plot and what you did was I think brilliant.
Aidan I really like how you added how Josie is with Hollis and Hollis has been absent to school lately because Josie forgets a lot of things including Hollis going to school. Great writing.
I liked how you talked about if Hollis mentions relatives then it is wrong.
I like how you mentioned that Hollis was not going to school and that they would send someone yo get her.
"Hello, west middle school, this is the secretary speaking." Said the Secratary.
"Hello I'm here for the foster care agency." Said the mustard woman."Has Hollis Woods been at school lately?"
"Hollis Woods, hmm." Said the school secratary."Let me check her absence record."
"Okay, but make it quick." Snapped the mustard woman
"Aha, I found them." Said the secratary
"She has missed most of her days with notes like "Hollis found out she is allergic to tomotoes or Hollis has a lingering cold." Said the secratary.
"Thank you." Said the mustard woman.
I like how you did West Middle School instead of East.
I liked how you used Hollis' abesences as part of your plot.
Hollis and the agency
Ding, ding, ding, click, "Hello?" said Hollis.
"Hollis, you have been a despicable child," said a person from the agency, named Mary.
"What are you talking about? I've been a great child!" yelled Hollis.
"No, you haven't, you haven't gone to school," "But," Hollis interrupted. "And, since Josie has been forgetting many things, you should have told her and you are going to a new family." Mary replied, unfazed.
"What, Josie is my only family and friend! I won't live with anyone else!" Hollis exclaimed.
"Well, this a large problem," Mary replied, slightly irritated.
"Also, I just forgot to tell her about school, and she's always so busy!" Hollis rushed.
"Well, okay maybe you forgot to tell her, but this is very important. She might have a disease called Alzheimer. People can die from it. She could get a stroke or a sickness. I need you to leave so when something happens you don't have to see it," Mary said, quietly.
Hollis thought for a minute then said,"I'll think about it," and abruptly hung up.
"What do you think the Mustard lades gonna do?"Asked Hollis.
"She's not going to do anything if you stay good and help me get through this rough time in my life,"said Josie,"That means keep your head in the books and keep getting good grades."
"I can do that!"exclaimed Hollis
"Can you stay out of trouble here, at school, and everywhere you go?" Josie asked.
"Ya I can dot that, and want do you mean about a rough time in your life and how I can help you?"Hollis asked.
"We all know that I am forgetting a lot of things.I know its very sad, but there is one way that usually does not work but I have hope that it will work.It is called Memantine,"said Josie.
"Why does that matter, its not like we can afford it?"Hollis asked
"I know, but I got a job!" yelled Josie.
"Yes!I feel so happy for you,"cheered Hollis.
"Yes I know I know. But even me working is still not going to pay for it. Thats why I want you to get a job. Nothing big, just a little job.
"Okay I will try to,"said Hollis proudly.
Derek this was fantastic but I have one question.
Is Memantine a cure for alzheimers or did I just read this whole thing wrong? I was wondering that because when I looked alzheimers up it had no cure.
Derek that is a great conversation. You included Hollis talking to the agency and Hollis taking to Josie. It is a great idea that I really wish I thought of when I was doing mine. Also you had Hollis taking on the phone and here talking to Josie in person. That is a great post.
"Mustard Woman!" yelled Elisabeth, the school secretary. "Hollis Woods has not been coming to school. "
"Okay, I will make sure that she comes tomorrow." said Mustard Woman.
"You better otherwise I will tell your boss that you are not able to get Hollis to go to school." threatened Elisabeth.
"I totally understand." said Mustard Woman.
" Hello this is the North middle school secretary do you know the girl Hollis Woods you have been dealing with."
"Yes," replied the mustard women nervously.
"Well she has been sending absent notes every week and has not showed up to school at all since she transferred schools."
"How come you did not tell me earlier."
"We thought that she was home sick like it said on the absent notes."
"I will go over there and check it out, I will call you when I get everything squared away."
ONE DAY LATER
"Hello can I please speak to the school secretary."
" Hello this is the secretary speaking."
"Hello this is the women from the agencey you talked to yesterday Hollis should be in school now if she is not there another day call me as soon as possible."
" Ok I will, thanks, call me if you have any questions."
"I do have a request I would like you to do."
"What will it be."
"I would like you to keep me up to date with how she is doing in school and if she gets in any trouble."
"Okay bye now."
I like how you were able to transfer from one person to another and how it flowed.
“Hi Ella (mustard women) why are you back so early? I thought you were going food shopping”
“Emmy, Josie doesn’t bring Hollis to school so I think we should take Hollis away from Josie so that Hollis will go to school.
“Excuse me Ella do you not think I know that, I was the person who picked Josie for Hollis I of course stay in touch with Josie and I think Josie will teach Hollis a lot about art.”
“But, she’s missing school”
“Hollis loves Josie and I will talk to Josie about that but if you didn’t know Hollis is doing better in school”
“But, but, but.”
“Do you not know that Hollis and Josie need each other and guess what your fired for not following my orders even though I’m your boss and you didn’t follow the dress code. Why do you wear sweats with stains it just doesn’t look good and her you go.”
“What is this?”
“It’s the dress code and bye!”
I liked this because I think that this could have happened in the book. Also, I liked how you gave the Mustard Woman a name. I thought it was very creative. Great job!
Super funny. I loved how you made a name for the mustard woman!I can't believe she got fired!
Mustard Woman and School Secretary
"Hello, Hollis Woods grade please," said Mustard Woman.
"I'm afraid to tell you we don't have them." said the school secretary.
"I'm sure of it, Hollis is going to school Miss," Mustard Woman said.
"Hollis Woods, Hollis Woods, wait she is the girl who came to the school a week ago." said the school secretary.
"A week ago?!? Oh no, this can't be right." Mustard Woman had said.
"Her grades will get to you soon,are you her mother?" said the school secretary.
"I was just checking up on her, I didn't know this would happen." said Mustard Woman. "Also I am not her mother." Mustard Woman added.
"Ding, Ding," a phone rang in the background "I will keep you updated." said the school secretary.
The phone call ended.
I like that idea of not having Hollis in in a week and the Mustard freaks out! that's a really creative idea.
"Hello, can I speak with the school secretary?" said the Mustard woman.
"Speaking." said the secretary.
"I'm here to talk about Hollis woods."
"Oh, Hollis she hasn't been in school for a while. Is she okay?"
" See, this why I wanted to talk. What are the consequences of not being in school for a while?" asked the Mustard woman.
"Well if she is out for more than a month she will have to take a big test." said the secretary.
"Well I'm going to have to tell her. She will be in school soon I promise."said the mustard women.
They got off the phone and the mustard woman whispered " No more Josie!"
"Hollis honey,come here our cocoa is ready."
"K coming. Mmm this is good were is it from?"
"It is from um, um some store, it does not matter."
"Josie I actually have to tell you something I have noticed."
"What is it?"
"It seems like you have been forgetting things," said Hollis nervously.
"I have not noticed, am I forgetting really big stuff?"
"No just small things. You might have something called alzheimers."
"I think I have heard of that."
"One of my old owners had it and they took me away from them. Will they take me away from you?"
"I don't know Hollis we will just have to wait and see."
Wow Anna, awesome job! I loved this because this definitely could have happened in the book! Also I liked how you wrote about Alzheimer because the author has not mentioned that.
Anna I like how you made me want to keep reading because I wanted to know more!!!
It was cool how you used alzheimers in your dialoge.
"Hollis, come into the living room!" Yelled Josie.
"Coming!" Responded Hollis.
"What did you want?" Asked Hollis.
"Oh I was just wondering what you want for... Uhh...," said Josie.
"Dinner?" Asked Hollis.
"Oh yes dinner, what do you want?" Said Josie
"Can we have sushi?" Asked Hollis.
"Sure thing! Come to the kitchen in 20 minutes," said Josie.
"Okay" said Hollis.
20 Minutes Later...
"I'm here...wait where's the sushi?" Asked Hollis.
"I don't know what your talking about but the pizza's right here!" Exclaimed Josie.
"Wait but I said...never mind," said Hollis quietly.
"C'mon let's eat!" Said Josie.
I really like how you showed that Josie was forgetting things by having her make pizza not sushi.
I like you answer because this demonstrates the meaning if that she has the disease Alzheimer. You said that Hollis wanted sushi and 20 minutes later Hollis thought her sushi was ready, but Josie had made her a pizza instead.
I like your comment because this is something that could actually happen in the story. I also like how you made it seem more real by making their voices trail off and stuff.
I like how you made Josie forget things.
"Hollis, we found a new family for you! We think it will be best for you and Josie." said Mustard Woman.
"I want to stay here. I don't want to leave her," said Hollis.
"You can't stay with her. She forgets things to much." said Mustard Woman.
"You don't get it. She has many things in common with me. I have to stay with her." said Hollis.
"You have to go with that family. If you don't, you might still have to. She forgets things to much." said Mustard Woman.
"Give her a chance," said Hollis "Let me stay with her for one more month and if she forgets more things I will go to the other family. Deal?"
"Deal. One month, no later." said Mustard Woman.
"Hello Emmy."I have noticed a lot of new things from Hollis."
" Oh Ya," like what."
"Well Hollis is doing so much better in school than she was in her old schools."
" That's a great sign," why do you think that she's doing better though.
"I think she wants to stay with you, Josie, and the Mustard Woman."
"Oh Ya," that might be it, I'll talk to Hollis next time I see her."
"Ok sounds good, see you later."
Hey Ryan you got to work on those spaces. There huge!Oh ya this is me telling myself some tips.
Hollis was watching TV one day before school when she heard a car door slam in front of Josie's house. She peeked out the window and saw the last person she wanted to see walking up to the front door; the Mustard Woman. She knocked on the door.
"Go away!" Hollis shouted, not getting out of her seat.
"Heather, whatever your name is, I would love to talk to right now," she said putting on her sweetest voice. Hollis could hear her sighing and cursing under her breath through the door.
"Why," Hollis teased.
Failing to come up with a good explanation, the Mustard Woman said, "Um... Because I miss you, and I haven't seen you in... Three whole days?"
"But I just saw you yesterday," Hollis said, trying her hardest to not laugh out loud.
Realizing her mistake, she replied,"But- Oh, for heaven's sake. Just let me in, kid!" Hollis walked over to the door and opened it, but didn't invite the Mustard Woman inside. "Harper, do you ever feel lonely, with there only being you and Josie in the house?" Hollis knew exactly what the Mustard Woman was going to say.
"No," she replied stubbornly.
"Well, let's pretend you said yes. I know this wonderful family. They live in this BIG house, and you should see the back yard! It's almost DOUBLE the size of the house and filled with seemingly iridescent flowers! You like flowers, don't you? Of course you do. All little girls do! Right, Hanna" the Mustard Woman babbled
"It's HOLLIS." Hollis grumbled.
"Whatever, Hellen." she sighed "Well, I'm whittling away your time as we speak, Hazel, so think about it. That could be your new home!"
"IT'S HOLLIS, AND I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE" Hollis hollered at the Mustard Woman as she turned around to go back into the house.
"Bye, Hope," the Mustard Woman as she hopped into her car.
"Do you think the mustard woman is going to take me away from you?" Hollis asked.
"Not on my watch Hollis," said Josie, "as long you keep up the good work and stop skipping school."
"Got it I'll try my best and stay out of trouble!" Hollis said in excitement.
"Well now that we got that covered lets go outside in the street and dance." Josie suggested.
A LITTLE WHILE LATER
"Hollis I've been wanting to tell you something but I just don't know how." Exclaimed Josie.
"What is it?" asked Hollis.
"I have a disease called alzheimers which allows me to forgot things," Josie said,"but theirs no cure available and only some medicines to help a little bit."
"Then lets go get the medicines," Hollis said.
"It's not that easy Hollis, it costs a lot of money." Josie replied.
"Oh, well can I help?" Hollis asked.
"Not much, you are to young to get a job, so maybe you could do lemonade stands." Josie replied.
"I'll try my best if you try your best to keep me," Hollis said proudly.
"I'll try my best," Josie replied.
James great post. That is a very creative post. You made it very deep.
"Hi Josie, I just want you to know that if I'm taken away from you...", Hollis's voice trailed off.
"What is it honey" said Josie?
"That you're the best parent I've ever had and probably the best owner I ever will have. I thought I needed a whole family, but you and Henry are all I need."
"(Josie sniffles), c-come here Hollis (crying a little bit)," said Josie.
They both hugged and would remember each other forever, (or at least Hollis would).
The Mustard lady and Hollis:Car ride to school
"Why on earth are you not at school!" I said. But only to get the beady eyed reaction from Hollis.
Hollis eventually said "Hasn't the school even suspected I was sick?"
But of course I had to tell her the truth."The school has gotten many sick letters."
The only answer I got was "I forgot I made those." Hollis of course said it in a hushed voice.
But then she made her point by giving out what was on her mind. "I didn't go to school because I wanted to saver my time with Josie before I get taken away from her!Because I know that you would figure out that she forgets lots of thing's."
But the only thing I could say was "Are you ready for school?"
Hollis and The Mustard Woman
"You would love Elaeanor," said the Mustard Woman.
"That's what you think," said Hollis.
"Look I know that you want to stay with Josie but she is starting to forget things.You would be better off without her."said the Mustard Woman.
"But she doesn't forget everything," said Hollis.
"True but, it's still dangerous for you to be with her and you can visit her whenever you want."said the Mustard Woman.
"Not when I'm at school or when I'm sleeping which takes up most of my time so I can barely talk to her. You know what, you haven't helped at all so why don't you just leave."said Hollis.
"Okay then, but remember that I'm picking you up tomorrow to meet them."said the Mustard Woman. And then she left.
I like how you used the lady Hollis is going to next, Eleanor because it makes it seem like they are really talking to each other about real things that are happening.
“We’re almost there Josie!” said Hollis.
But she got no answer. “Josie?” Hollis asked this time. Hollis then realized, Josie had fallen asleep.
“Oh no! Please wake up.” exclaimed Hollis.
“What’s happening?” Josie asked as her eyes opened.
“Thank goodness you’re awake! Now keep driving.” yelled Hollis.
“I fell asleep?” asked Josie, sounding confused.
“Yes, but luckily you woke up.”
“Where do I turn next?” Josie said all of a sudden.
Hollis paused for a minute to think. “Umm, turn left!” she said at last.
But instead, Josie turned right. “Is this the right way Hollis?” she asked.
“No, you turned right. But, you are supposed to turn left. Did you forget?” asked Hollis.
“Wow, I guess I did forget. It’s all right, though. I can just turn the car around.” Josie said.
“Well we have to get there soon, so let’s just hope nothing else happens.” said Hollis.
“Okay, and sorry I’ve been very forgetful lately.” Admitted Josie.
“It’s all right. Anyway, we’re almost there!”
Hollis and the Agency
"Yeah, who is it?" said Hollis
"I'm Michele from the agency, and we need to talk about you moving to this other house." said Michele
"I don't want to talk about it so leave me alone!" said
"So there are 2 reasons why you have to move, 1 is that we think that Josie has a disease called Alzheimer. 2 is that we have found a real family for you, and here you only have Josie." said Michele
"Thank you for the kind offer, but I want to stay with Josie!" said Hollis
"This is serious, if she dies from this disease know one will be able to care for you and Henry." said Michele
Well I would just run away with Henry if that happened." said Hollis
"No more running away Hollis, you could have a happier life and not worry about Josie, and you could complete your W picture!" said Michele
" Well if I'll have a happier life, then I will think about it" said Hollis
"Good" said Michele
Slam! Hollis slams the door