Simile paragraph

10/10/2017

Simile paragraph

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Copy and paste your simile/sensory paragraph here so your classmates can check it out and comment!

Erin Savage

10/10/2017 14:31:54

One morning I heard bang it was a giant knocking on my bedroom window like a crazy man . It was so big it made me faint when I woke up I was in a giant trash bag ,It smelled as if I was in a shoe.I was in the clouds in his house up the beanstalk.When we were going up the beanstalk we were higher than the birds and the airplanes. We got into the house it was like the size of 3 of the eiffel towers.

Leo f.

10/10/2017 20:16:54

llike how you put the simile as the eiffel towers

Addison

10/11/2017 14:34:49

When you said you heard a bang what made the bang that you heard on your window?

Erin

10/12/2017 13:09:16

The giant made the sound.

B link

10/11/2017 18:56:09

I like your story a lot. I like the simle like a crazy man.

luca

10/12/2017 13:11:25

Your story reminds me of Jack and the bean stock

B link

10/12/2017 13:14:37

Your idea makes me think was the giant knock hard and fast or hard and slow on not hard at all ?

nora

10/12/2017 13:17:00

I think that yours is really good because I never though about it like that.I think your really talented in many was but next time you should think about describing the character but other than that I really like your writing.

B link

10/10/2017 14:32:45

_I couldn’t believe it we were at the dog store. I looked at one dog and said I WANT HIM screaming . my mom said we are getting a dog today. we tried him out he was the last dog we tried out . that was the one we got. we named him Lucky he is as soft as a brand new pillow.

Shealy

10/10/2017 16:14:27

I like how you put the simile last instead of first.

isaiah

10/11/2017 14:33:45

What did the dog feel like and smell like?

B link

10/12/2017 13:16:38

Lucky smelt like cake and felt so soft and fluffy.

Addison

10/11/2017 14:42:14

The name lucky is a great name for a dog. What kind of dog is lucky?

B link

10/12/2017 13:24:08

He is a schnauzer poodle micks. Thanks I think Lucky is great name for a dog two.

Shealy

10/10/2017 14:33:08

Nolan, Avery, and I were sent to our Sana’s house for the weekend. The next morning it was Saturday we took a lot of walks and we went back to her house. It was about 12:00 and we wanted to take another walk because we can home at 11:15. We were walking by the church and there is a horse. I ask “what’s that? My Sana said “ It’s a wedding oh and look at the beautiful horse.” My eyes widen “it’s beautiful.” I say. My Sana talks to the guy it’s mane is as shiny and beautiful as a star in the night sky. It was a white horse with white main. I reach out to touch it my fingertips just touched it. It was as soft as a stack of pillows.The man said “don’t touch it or it will kick if you don’t feed it flowers.” I was just happy I touched the horse.

Leah

10/10/2017 16:37:43

I really like your story! I like when you said that that it was a wending and you saw a beautiful horse. Good jod Shealy

Erin

10/11/2017 14:34:40

I love how you described the horse I love your simile. I wish I had that horse!

luca

10/12/2017 13:17:07

Man the man was really mean

Leonel

10/10/2017 14:33:43

Billy Bob ate so fast like his mouth was a bulldozer. He plowed through the ribs so quick that he eated the bone by mistake.The gross thing that Billy Bob was that he choked out the bone of his ribs and as he choked the bone out of his mouth and then has wasn’t feeling good at all.

Ryan Spahiu

10/11/2017 18:20:19

your idea makes me think how big is the bulldozer and after the bone was out of his mouth did he throw up?

Mathew

10/12/2017 13:17:58

I love your story including the part with the bulldozer

Addison

10/10/2017 14:36:54

I was walking with my family over rolling hills that went on and on. The sky was as blue as the sea.We see birds and deer .The wildlife there was the most I have ever seen. The birds flew over our heads and then a horse stops right in front of us.The horse was as beautiful as a sunset over a pond.. The horse had a mane as soft as fur and as i pet it let out a beautiful sound as soft and quiet as a little mouse as it ran away from us and disappeared into the woods.

Leah

10/10/2017 14:37:10

When I waked into the candy store it looked like i was in a rainbow. It was so colorful.
I was with my sister and her friend. We looked around for a while,a their it was the candy I wanted. It was called a gobstopper. When you eat them it tastes like as if you had so much sugar in your mouth

Addison

10/11/2017 14:31:43

I really get a picture in my head when you said, when i walked in the store it was like a rainbow.And i like the way you put the simile last not first. Good job Leah.

Brendan Adams

10/12/2017 13:23:06

I like your story very creative. 1 to 10 how much do you like candy! I love candy.

Isaiah j

10/10/2017 16:43:23

The first ten seconds i had jolly ranchers in the blue raspberry flavor was amazing it was like i was dreaming.When i let it sit in my mouth it felt like my tongue was coming to life.It was like i was suffering and i found my cure to save my life I will always love jolly ranchers!

Erin

10/11/2017 14:28:27

I love your story I agree with you my favorite is blue rasbery too.I really like your simile!

Addison

10/11/2017 14:39:48

I really like the blue rasbery too.Love your simile!Great job

Demetres

10/11/2017 17:07:10

I Like how you named the ten seconds in time. Did a flavor prince come and turn into the jolly rancher and you ate it? BOOM, your tongue came to life!

Mathew

10/12/2017 13:13:30

I really like your simile I feel like my tongue was coming to life.

Luca

10/10/2017 18:59:03

The rib eating competition was about to begin our contestants are all lined up they are waiting for their rib stacks to come out. The contestants take their seats, the judges and the stacks of ribs are ready. Billy Bob was the undefeated rib eating champion. 3.2.1. Go!!!! They're off Billy Bob is eating at an alarming speed, not so far behind him is Chris Buccini and in what appears to be last place is Maria Buccini. Billy Bob ate so fast it looked like his mouth was running a marathon. He almost ate the bones that were left on his plate. Billy Bob is the champion for another year in a row.

connor

10/12/2017 13:15:09

I liked how you put your mom and dad in it. I also liked how you said Billy Bob`s mouth was running a marathon

10/12/2017 13:18:32

I Like how you said it was like Billy Bob's mouth was running a marathon. How many years was Billy Bob undefeated?

Nora

10/12/2017 13:20:33

I really like yours because it has a lot of really good details in it.

Connor

10/10/2017 19:53:28

I couldn’t believe it, we were getting a puppy! My morning began like every other boring morning. Getting dressed, eating breakfast, brushing my teeth and packing my snack. As I slowly walked to the bus stop, I heard my mom calling me back to the house. She seemed very excited and told me to get in the car. I was confused because I usually take the bus to school. As we drove down the bumpy road, she explained that we were on a special mission. When pulled up to the old, grey building, I realized it was a dog shelter. My heart was beating like a drum. I held my mom’s hand as we walked into the shelter. A nice lady brought out a little, fluffy brown puppy and handed it to me! I fell in love immediately!

Brendan Adams

10/11/2017 20:10:44

I found the comparison of waking up in a trash bag and smelling as if you were in a shoe kind of confusing.

Mathew

10/12/2017 09:00:35

When I walked in the candy store all I could see was candy. It was everywhere every piece of candy on earth was every color. It was the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life. I asked my mom if I could get at least 2 pieces of candy. She said yes I ran to every single wall. The candy I wanted wasn't there I ran back to tell my mom that. Right when we were leaving I saw it,it was the candy I wanted. Toxic waste and War heads.

nora

10/12/2017 09:02:32

I really like your writing Erin because it has a lot of good details in it and it hooked me in so good gob Erin!!!!!

Brendan Adams

10/12/2017 13:17:24

Mathew I love your story it was great. What are toxic wastes though? Other wise your story was great. I't really hooked me in.

leo o.

10/12/2017 13:25:14

My mom had just gave me 10$ to spend at the candy store. All of the candy where 1 cent . I could get 1000 pieces of candy.I would have to stay in there four hours. I got all the sour candy warheads toxic waste and lock jaw. I got all of the the candy in the store .

Nora

10/12/2017 13:25:45

The candy was so good that I just wanted to savor it in my mouth forever.It taste like a lot of sugar in my mouth at one time!!

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