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9/16/2016

Show DON'T Tell writing!

23 Comments

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Submit your paragraph from class! I can't wait to read all of these!

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23 Comments
Joseph Nguyen
9/19/2016 13:38:51

The
Horse
I couldn’t believe it,We were getting a horse!When it came in the house I touched it.It was as soft as a sheep.It was as tall as a table.That was the horse i got.

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Mackenzie Pham
9/21/2016 13:19:34

Joseph you are so lucky you got a horse ! Whats your horse's name anyway? nice writing piece too.

Reply
Morin
9/19/2016 13:40:58

I couldn’t believe it,we were getting a puppy.
she hugged me and when i saw his paws it was as big as a wolf or a roaring lion.
I felt his fur and it felt like a soft blanket and a pillow all together.
I named my dog rose because it smelled like a rose and because i love roses

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Chloe Liang
9/19/2016 13:43:03

I couldn’t believe it, we were getting a puppy. As I got my puppy it jumped in my arms. My puppy was as soft as a pillow and a blanket combined together. His fur was white with brown spots. He licked my face. His lick was a wet as a wet sponge. My puppy is super duper cute. I LOVE MY PUPPY!!!

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Nolan Keane
9/19/2016 13:44:04

I can not believe I was getting a new turtle. When i got him he was as scared as a mouse I loved him and he's so cute. He looked like a sunset from a cliff.His shell was had as a rock. I'm called the turtle king. I wanted a turtle for so long. I'm going to name him Timmy after my first turtle stuffed animal. He eats fish and as a dino even though i give him turtle pellets a lot. I love Timmy so much and will always protect him.

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Aidan Russell
9/19/2016 14:00:07

good work Nolan I like your story it is very creative.

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Mackenzie Pham
9/19/2016 13:44:11

The bacon sizzled in the pan. The smell was like death. The touch was like a dead pig laying there. When i looked at that poor dead pig turn to bacon it looked burnt.

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Nolan Keane
9/19/2016 13:48:37

r.i.p pig that some one will now eat

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Andrew
9/19/2016 13:46:29

The sun was as bright as fire. As it shone on the water, I saw that it was like millions of lanterns were inside it. I touched the water and felt like ice.

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Aidan Russell
9/19/2016 13:53:02

I couldn’t believe it, we were getting a… puppy!! I rushed to the car my mom drove to the animal shelter. I ran to the door when I got in I saw the puppy that I wanted it was a husky. My mom asked the person that worked there if we could play with the husky. The husky was small he was also hyper and he was white he had a blue eye and a white eye. I named him Lucky. When we got home I played with Lucky he bit my finger. I played with Lucky all day long!!




THE END

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Lais Gomes
9/19/2016 13:58:47

Hamster
I couldn’t believe it,we were getting a... hamster.My dad opened it,it wasn’t there it was just hay or something then I saw a head peek out through hey then I went to pick it up.It was as fluffy as a unicorn. I was very happy.

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Ky
9/21/2016 13:20:20

I couldn’t believe it, we were getting a puppy. The puppy jumped into my arm, the puppy was as soft as a furry chair. The puppy licked my face and the puppy tounge felt like a wet sponge. I love my new puppy.

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Aidan Russell
9/21/2016 13:21:29

Hey Joseph nice story about a horse and nice simlie

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Sadie Webster
9/21/2016 13:25:57

I couldn’t believe it, we were getting a puppy! They jumped into my arms.She was so tiny she fit into my hand .The puppy was as soft as new cozy blanket.She was brown as dark chocolate. The puppy licked my face and it felt like a wet sponge.We finally took her home I love my new puppy.

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CHLOE NICASTRO
9/21/2016 13:32:00

As the bacon sizzled it smelled like fresh sausage. My milk was as chocolatey as chocolate ice cream. My pancakes tasted like hevean on a plate.

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Lars Leary Eldh
9/21/2016 13:34:15

We are getting a cat! I am as excited as a man getting married.When I so her she was so cute like a baby otter.I stroke her head and it was as soft as a cloud.Then I decided to name her Mrs.Little Paddles.

P.S don't judge me on the name

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Benjamin killeffer
9/21/2016 13:43:26

nice job I like the name of the cat

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Celina Poon
9/21/2016 13:36:35

When I was at the park we were playing hide and seek .When I was it I found $5.00 on the ground. When I found the others I told them about the $5.00 bill. We were deciding what we should do with the money then we thought we should get some candy. So we ask our mom and she said yes!When we got to the candy shop it smelled like heaven!when I got the M and M and Hershey bar it taste like honey.

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Lydia Cheng
9/21/2016 13:36:55

The bacon smelled so good that I wanted to eat a huge bowl of it.I washed it down with orange juice and I also had eggs too!







Reply
Benjamin killeffer
9/21/2016 13:37:15

The candy was like a big sweet cake that smelt like chocolate the candy looks like a red marshmallow it tasted like fruit gummy's and chocolate.

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Lars Leary Eldh
9/21/2016 13:49:29

Nice job Ben. I could really taste all the sweet candy in my mouth.

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Aidan Russell
9/21/2016 13:53:41

Aidan Russell

The best ice cream I ever had was Chocolate Fudge Brownie. The topping were Reece’s,cherries,chocolate chips,Gummy bears,mint oreos.Then I ate it the toppings combined into a chocolaty,minty,gummy,cherry ice cream. .The ice cream was super super super delicious. I love ice cream.




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Aidan Russell
9/22/2016 14:33:07

I woke up to the smell of bacon sizzling on the pan and pancakes cooking. Then I went down stairs my mom said “hi sweetie want some pancakes and bacon?”. I said “sure” then I got 1 bacon and 1 pancake. I gobbled up the bacon and the pancake it was delicious. Then I went to watch a show.

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  • Home
  • About me
  • *virtual library*
  • 5th Grade Writing
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    • 4th GRADE SOCIAL STUDIES
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  • Vocabulary
  • Book Recommendations
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