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11/6/2017

Get down with some details!

48 Comments

Read Now
 
Time to write a descriptive paragraph with some SENSORY DETAILS!
You can describe anything! Food, a flower, a book, your dog, a cupcake, ANYTHING!
BUT...YOU MUST USE AT LEAST 3 SENSORY DETAILS AND 1 SIMILE.
​REMEMBER, SENSORY DETAILS TELL THE READER ABOUT SMELL, TASTE, SIGHT, TOUCH, AND SOUND.

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48 Comments
Olivia
11/6/2017 14:22:04

Horse’s


I love the way horses hooves make a fun nose when they trot. I also like the way when horses run their mains move back and forth. The fur to me is smooth and soft when i touch it it calms me. I love the smell of the horse muneer. i love that every breath i take it tastes like oats, hay and grass. I love all of these five senses i get around a horse.

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Shealy
11/8/2017 14:06:48

How would this story be different if you didn't know what horse muneer smelled like?

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Addison
11/8/2017 14:27:24

Do you actually like the smell of horse muneer Oliva?

Olivia
11/9/2017 14:31:30

I pass a cow farm every single day in Vermont of course i like the smell.

Brendan
11/8/2017 14:07:41

I love your details about the horses. I actually like the sound of hooves too. I saw 2 horses at a marsh-field beach.

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Olivia
11/9/2017 14:33:19

Cool i heard some breads of horses live near beaches

Olivia
11/9/2017 14:34:42

Ya it does relay make a fun noise when they trot.

Leah
11/8/2017 14:10:25

I agree with you because a horse does make a fun sound when they trot.

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Erin
11/8/2017 14:20:51

I love your story! I do have a question what do you mean by it taste like oats, hay ,and grass?

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Olivia
11/9/2017 14:29:46

well every day in Vermont i pass a cow farm so its relay not possible for me not to no the smell of muneer

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Shealy
11/6/2017 14:23:08

I have a pet bird his name is Chip. When I let let him fly his wings make a wind so hard it’s like rushing waves trampling you. He is blue with black and white stripes like a zebra pattern down his head and neck. He’s light blue near his stomach and dark on his wings, near his beak he has two white spots in other words he’s beautiful. He smells, well he smells like bird.
I don’t know how he tastes because i’ve never licked or ate him but it probably wouldn’t taste good. Chip makes many different sounds. He chirps loudly, softly, annoyingly, and weirdly. When you touch him after he freaks out because he’s napping, tired, annoyed, or just surprised he’s soft it feels like you're touching clouds also he’s super friendly, if you touch him he won’t bite he’ll just look at you, normally, weirdly, angrily, or just derpy. That’s really all about my bird there’s only one more thing I can say. He’s one of the best birds ever.

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olivia
11/6/2017 14:35:58

that's relay good and heart touching. i love how you described how he looks he is brobly very cute you also did fantastic laying it out i loved your writing it was relay good

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ryan spahiu
11/6/2017 14:26:48

Touchdown!!!!!!


Touchdown!!! The cold breeze coming in my helmet. I touch the grip of the football like it was a basketball. I can see the goal post of both ends of the field. The sound of everyone cheering and yelling was louder than a roller coaster. The smell of a trash barrel on the bench smelt as bad as a dirty gym clothes. The taste of the
Strawberry kiwi Gatorade I just had.

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Nora
11/6/2017 14:36:32

Addison I really like yours because it has a lot of good details in it.

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Mathew
11/8/2017 14:04:01

I really like your simile. Its really descriptive

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Addison
11/6/2017 14:29:18

I went outside to see a flower as pink as a pink crayon. The flower looked as bright as the sun on a summer day. I ran around to see it more clearly. Then i put my face close to it and I could smell the pollen deep inside the middle of the flower. Then I look around and a bunch more pink and yellow flowers pop up. The sight of one million flowers gave me a warm feeling inside. Then a swarm of bees gathered around the flower. All I could hear was the bees buzzing around the flower. I wondered what the stem and the vine that wrapped up the vine. So I touched the prickly stem and the vine that climbed up the stem. The vine felt like the feeling of a lot of ants crawling up your leg. I open my mouth to taste the cool breeze, it tickled the inside of my mouth.

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Leah
11/8/2017 14:28:44

Addison I relay like your story because it has awesome
simile.

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Connor
11/6/2017 14:29:56

mozzarella sticks

Crunch! I bite into sauce covered mozzarella stick. It is so warm and delicious. I can see the long stringy white gooey cheese. It is so delicious and crunchy. I can feel my tongue crying tears of joy!I love mozzarella sticks they are my favorite food in the whole world!

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isaiah
11/6/2017 14:30:06

I love fried chicken! When it makes that sizzle sound you know it’s almost time to feast on some good fried chicken. Also it taste like you are getting drenched in joy! It looks like fried bread crumbs with an brown layered skin. And it makes me feel like i king when i bite into it. I love fried chicken My favorite fried chicken is from louisiana fried chicken. In addition i like there fifteen pieces of chicken in a big bucket. OFC OFC OFC!

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Leonel Goncalves
11/8/2017 14:07:20

I agree with because soccer is a league and good evidence.

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Nora
11/6/2017 14:30:42

First I have to get up and out of bed which is really hard for me because I´m am not a morning person. So after I get up I grab my soccer close and go into the bathroom to get dressed. After I do all of that I walk down stairs and have something to After that over I walk back up the stairs and brush my teeth then I go into my room and pull up my hair into a tight into a bun then I put a little bit of hairspray in to keep the hair from getting in my face. When I am done I go put my cleats shinguards and socks on. Then I go back down stairs and fill up my water bottle.Then of I go to soccer. Wish me luck!

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Addison
11/6/2017 14:38:21

Nora,
I have 2 wonders about your story.
1. What did the bun in your hair feel like did it hurt in the tight bun.
2. What did the clothes feel like.

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isaiah
11/8/2017 14:14:31

What game did you play?

Mathew
11/6/2017 14:31:14

I was playing my game then I smelt something delightful. I went out to see what it was, it was a strawberry frosted Donut with sprinkles!!! I went over to the donut to feel it, it felt excellent then I went to smell it again smelt even better the second time. It looked so tasty I thought I heard it calling my name and saying come and eat me. Finally the time has come it was time to eat it. Right when I took a bite out of it, it tasted like all my favorite foods combine.

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Ryan Spahiu
11/8/2017 14:06:57

something like that happened to me but it was munchkins not a donut, but overall I liked you story.

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Erin Savage
11/6/2017 14:32:36

! My New Trampoline!

One Easter morning I opened my gifts. I got candy that tasted like heaven, but I really wanted to go and hunt for the eggs outside. When I looked in the front yard there were no eggs and the only thing I saw wear leaves dancing gracefully in the air. So I thought we should go into the back yard I was wrong there were no eggs but there was a big trampoline. So I went on it. When I was bouncing I felt the air rushing in and out of my hair. I smelt the pollen in the air when jumped to high. When I jumped I heard the spring going spring ,sprong.

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luca
11/6/2017 14:37:42

I love your simile

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addison
11/8/2017 14:12:12

I really like the way you used your simile and the place meant of your writing. I love your writing Erin .

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Nora
11/8/2017 14:38:26

I really like yours because it has a lot of good details in it. I have two things to ask you. One what do the thorns fell like on you. And what do the roses smell like.

Leah
11/6/2017 14:33:19

A Flower

One day when I went outside there was a flower. It was bright pink, it also had a green stem with little spikes on it. It was very pretty.
I don't know what it tasted like but, I think it would be grose
It smelt like a rose on a sunny day. The green stem felt
Very prickly from the spikes.





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Addison
11/8/2017 14:23:53

I think the flower would tasted grose too. The simile was a perfect way too make me smell a rose on a summer day.
The two senses you used were perfect for this paragraph.
I think your writing is amazing Lea . By the way I wrote about a pink flower too.

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Leonel Goncalves
11/6/2017 14:36:45

Imagine That you opened a box of piping hot pizza. When you pull out the pizza all the cheese stretches out like a rubber Band. As you pull of the pizza the tomato sauce drops out like a raindrop. Pepperoni has a lot of grease like a salty pretzel. mmmmmmmm pizza

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Ryan Spahiu
11/8/2017 14:15:46

Leo I like yours because it has good similes.

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Erin
11/8/2017 14:15:53

You are making me hungry Leo.Good job with your story!

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Sam
11/6/2017 14:37:29

We finally made it out of school Grim * high fives *. Can I come with you tomorrow Grim said after all that happened almost getting caught no way sorry though. Please can i come with you please do ittttttttttt ok fine you can come yay get ready for fun tomorrow. but school is already fun and my teacher is cool what his or her name Mr.pestone he’s a great teacher I hate to leave school but I least I got you home. Two minutes later do you like rainbows Grim said yea why you ask. look at the sentence when I said rainbows what are you talking about Grim ? nothing i guess you can’t see it or I’m the only one who can see it cool. Time to go back to school until then.

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isaiah
11/8/2017 14:18:33

i like the story and i have a question how fast did the dirt bike go from a scale of 1 to 10? 10 being the highest.

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Brendan Adams
11/6/2017 14:38:49

HI my name is brendan and today is my favorite holiday christmas!! I hope I got what i really wanted a razor mx350 dirt rocket. As I think to myself as i run up stairs like a lion. When I get up the stairs I see a load of presents as I hope 1 of them is mine. As I grabbed the most likely one to be mine I peel the wrapping of like a chocolate bar. But no bike as I reach to see what i got close!! Well that one looks good as i rip of the wrapping AGAIN and I couldn’t believe my eyes
There it was standing right there the mx350 razor dirt rocket. As I go up to it I touch it it feels like hard plastic and the handle bars hand grips so felt like rubber. The tires smelled like a factory. And the seat felt nice and firm like a horse's saddle!!!!! I am so happy I got it.

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Connor
11/8/2017 14:10:17

I love how you put in so many similes and I loved how you made me feel like I was really at your house on that day.

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Olivia
11/8/2017 14:13:16

i love how you said that the seat felt like a horses saddle did it feel like leather because that's what it feel's like most of the time.?

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leo
11/8/2017 14:38:10

I like that you put so much effort into the simile.

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Leo o.
11/8/2017 14:10:25

It was my race day and i was at cape cod getting ready to race. When it was time to start practicing i practiced on the small trail. When we started to race we were going to jump off the first ramp. The kid i front of me jumped so high that he fell off his bike and landed back first on to the hard dirt. I saw his sharp part of his bike cut his leg open. i could almost feel the pain and what it will feel like to be him and the blood dripping down from his leg. it reminded of when i fell off my dirt bike. I stopped my bike and went to get help because we were at the back of the trail. We went there with the four wheeler we rushed him to the ambulance. The doctor said that broke his arm and dislocated toe. He was as hurt as a beat up boxer.

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luca
11/8/2017 14:34:47

I loved the part when the kid fell of the bike? Did he brake a bone?

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Holley
11/8/2017 14:18:52

Hand sanitizer feels so good running through my fingers. It supposed to smell good, but some people with sensitive noses might find the smell atrocious and start coughing right away. It tastes really really really bad ok so under no circumstances should you taste hand sanitizer. It taste as like dog biscuits. I don’t know what dog biscuits taste like, but I know for a fact it taste bad. Hand sanitizer is as good as using soap!


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Mathew
11/8/2017 14:24:03

I like your big words and I also love the smell of hand sanitizer.

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Ryan Spahiu
11/8/2017 14:34:02

I was wondering if your are one of those people with sensitive noses?

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luca
11/8/2017 14:31:00

One day I was walking down the street and I passed a bakery. The scent caught my nose like a lasso. As I walked back the the shop the scent got stronger and stronger. Once I walked into the store I could taste vanilla cake. I could hear the chefs mixing the cake batter in the bake room. I was wondering when someone was going to take my order. Then, a man comes to take my order he said what do you want i said i wanted a 7 layer vanilla cake . He said that it would take a few minutes.5 minutes later my cake was done it smelt so good I almost fainted.Later that day i was enjoying my delicious cake at my house.





THE END

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Holley
11/8/2017 14:35:23

I agree trash dose smell like gym clothes.

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Mackenzie P
11/21/2017 16:35:57

Memories..

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